About Happiness

     Dear Fran,

     I once heard a woman say that the secret of happiness was to be married to a man who was in need and at the same time as independent as you were, that the marriage had an economy loose enough to be able to give some money to those in need and still had to be able to buy books.

     The woman who spoke said that she had read it in a little book —written by a woman very ahead of her time— that she had found in an old bookshop and that she had bought it almost as a gift. Many times the most important things are presented in the most humble way.

     Fran, now it has become fashionable among more progressive mothers breastfeed their children however that modern woman already advised mothers to breastfeed babies because there were many advantages that were achieved with this activity so natural and that had so bad reputation in her times. A good wet nurse was a well-respected and well-paid person for her services.

     But I didn´t get married. My experience with men, with that man, was forced (I don´t want to talk about that) and yet I managed to reach a state in which I´m happy with myself, perhaps because of my propensity to look for other people what I it was denied; most of my experience has entered through my ears and my eyes and - for a while now - when I open a book and forget what is around me. Of course, having some money has allowed me not to have to constantly be accounting for the "consequences of every penny".

     That's why I completely agree with what these women said and having met people like mi señora has helped me to look forward and enjoy the present moment. My work in the house doesn´t become heavy, to the contrary, I enjoy cleaning (which is what I have always done) and with the gesture of approval of the owner. I love to sweep the patio, pick up the fallen leaves of the lemon tree, water and wait for the arrival of the red-rumped swallows that breed in the old stable (although we have two springs that we haven´t seen them). I am amazed to see how they build the nest: an almost round corridor and a camera at the end. This construction reminds me of the caves we have here nearby.

     I told you, Fran, that I have always been the most unruly of my house (including Hope) and that my father should use more patience and hard hand with me than with my sisters, but what can we do! Maybe with my physical deficiency I had to choose between submission and compassion or rebellion and autonomy, which was what I chose. I´ve always have ¨many strings to my bow”.

     Although I have not been educated in physical love. My mission has not focused on sexually pleasing man. That's why I do not like films aimed at frivolous or superficial women who are unable to understand other topics of life. Who am I to criticize this attitude, though?

     Y. a.

     Mary