The illusion of pardon

     Dear Fran,

     I was looking forward to getting home to tell you what happened to me this morning in Carmona. But first I want to ask you if you have heard of 'the illusion of pardon'. A feeling by which the person sentenced to death waits until the last moment to be left alive.

     That happened to me for the first time fifty years ago... and this morning I felt it again. I tell you.

     I presented a painting (of which I do not have any photos to show you) to one of the Andalusian painting competitions and I dare say about Spain: the 'José Arpa'. After a while and seeing that they had already given the award to an excellent artist such as Ángel Alén and that I had not received any notification about my work, I assumed that they had not selected me. So, this morning I went to the palace where I delivered my Trabajos en la Ronda de la Alcazaba and when a very kind young woman came back from the warehouse she told me that the piece was not found there, that it was undoubtedly selected and she was surprised that I was to remove it. I explained to her what I have explained to you and she apologized while asking me where I came from; that if I came from far away. I reassured her by telling her that going to Carmona is always a pleasure for me and that I would take advantage of the rest of the morning walking through its streets.

     Fran, surely you wonder why I have told you about this illusion that the unfortunate people, who are going to die, have. Because three days ago I heard about that feeling and because when I came down the road to remove the paint I kept saying to myself: and if it is among the chosen ones and I have not received any information by mistake? 

     Y. a.

     Mary