You never have to look back 

 

«Thank you very much for your words. Save those beautiful memories you have of my brother because I don´t think you could talk to him. Mike has memories, the problem is that he can hardly ever express what he feels because he can´t find the words; this leads him to become frustrated and remain silent.

Finally, thank you very much for your interest. I´ll tell Gertrude, and you receive my best regards.»

 

This was the terse reply I received from Johnny.

Johnny, Mike´s brother, is four years younger than him and we will have exchanged three or four words in our lifetime and that was fifty years ago.

The message (DM) has put me into a demoralised kind of mood. It´s curious how something like that gets you down. I don´t know if it was a coincidence or what, but at the moment I was reading the DM, a Barber adagio was playing on my stereo, I don´t know which one, but it´s the saddest music I´ve ever heard in my life.

And all for wanting to look back and step on the path — as the song says — that shouldn´t be stepped on again. Because neither Mike nor I are the same dimwit we were when we were just starting out.

From my Borstal.

LDR