Beatrice´s dream

I´m learning to read and write and I like to do it on my own. All help is very welcome

Dear Fran,

     I am writing this letter to you for the reason that I have received news from England. Beatrice, my sister, is in good health and she continues in the convent. I heard about it through an acquaintance.

     This acquaintance said me that my sister sent me her kisses and gave me her blessing. From here I send her my love.

     You are knowing me a bit. I would never be a nun. According to my viewpoint, or mood, to be a nun can be a relief or a burden.

     I am aware that to be a nun or a monk, living in a nunnery or a monastery, has its advantages. You can enjoy healthy habits – proved by medicine -, you have more peace – your lifestyle is slower tan the rest of the people -, it provide you to contact to God easier – there is no intermediary -, those habits remind you you have to do good – the world, outside the convent Wall, thinks in other things -, and you find the time to cook delicious “filled rolls of marzipan” or working in the kitchen garden!

     Yet, when you take the veil, you commit to something. The habit. You wear the same wardrobe whether it is Winter or it is summer – that fabric gives me goose pimples. The prayer time. Can you imagine me waking up at the small hours for praying? Is not there time all day? Obedience. I can be obedient as long as they ask me in good manners, otherwise… Freedom. Lack of freedom? Incompatible with me, you know. No swearwords. Without swear words? Not at all. Although - you see - each time I have my tongue cleaner. These three disadvantages are the worst.

Carmona. Wall of the Convent of Sta. Clara

     I remember that face any adversity Beatrice went up the stairs looking for her Bible and with the book on her chest prayed to God that the anguish ceased. “Let´s pray the Lord for you”, she said when – at the kitchen – everyone knew that I would go to serve to the vicarage. And she wept on my shoulder. Was Beatrice afraid that terrible something would happen me?

     I think monks and nuns live in a parallel world. No real. They are disappointed with regard to what they see. I am not a believer –this is not new-, that´s true, however I like respecting the beliefs of other persons. They have right – like me – to get a head in life.

     My señora, for instance, is a very devout person. She would like me to be like her but, in my family, grandad and I saw things in a different way.

Carmona. Window of the Convent of Sta. Clara

     Maybe, the happiness of Beatrice in her community of eleven sisters is go on with her prayers helping people like me. Maybe a dozen of nuns in a remote place cherish the hope in the middle of our world living in obedience, no possessions, in chastity as a cloistered nuns.

     Y. a.

     Mary